Sex Worker Search

Reddit user /u/Arkamari kindly agreed to answer my questions about sex work in hotels from his perspective as a hotel manager in USA.

He's posted an AMA, ask me anything, on the /r/clientsandcompanions subreddit and later on the /r/sexworkers subreddit and replied there to questions from sex workers.

Arkamari is a client and ally of sex workers and he understands full well that most sex work occurring in hotels is between consenting adults and is in no way likely to be more disruptive to the hotel than the average guest. Perhaps much less disruptive in that as sex workers we are trying very hard to be discreet in order to avoid a situation where we might get kicked out of a hotel, or even banned from a hotel, which would obviously be a negative outcome for ourselves in terms of loss of income from jobs we might need to cancel and curtailing our ability to do business at that hotel in future.

Having said that, he's trying to do business too and from his point of view, sex workers are welcome provided we don't cause problems.

Here are his thoughts on how to avoid appearing to be a potentially problematic hotel guest as a sex worker.

Consensual adult activity vs “red flags”

A lot of sex workers assume hotel staff automatically regard all sex work as problematic and that the second you realize we're sex workers you'll be looking for an excuse to kick us out regardless of how discreet we are, but your AMA suggested a more nuanced approach which is great to see. From a hotel management perspective, how do you personally distinguish between two consenting adults quietly using a hotel room (even if one person is a sex worker) versus signs of trafficking or real problems that genuinely raise concern or require intervention? What kinds of things actually trigger red flags for staff? eg: Signs of coercion or trafficking; Someone appearing underage; Obvious pimp/third-party involvement; Drugs or smoking complaints; Excessive traffic to and from a room; Noise or disturbance complaints; Violence or welfare concerns. And in your experience, is your attitude fairly normal within the hotel industry, or more unusual?

I want to start off this question by stating that every hotel is different. There's a common misconception that every Hampton is run the same way or every Marriott is run the same way, etc. Every hotel is owned and operated by different companies and managers. Yes there are trainings each franchise or hotel brand has for the business, but ultimately it falls on those operating the hotel to enforce any trainings, rules, etc. Just like every business out there, you have people who care about their business and want it to operate well. And then you have the people who clearly don't care, and it shows in the rest of the business. Example, I'm sure everyone has gone to a Starbucks in one city where the staff and the team are on point and genuinely care about their customers and the quality of coffee they make. And then you go to a different Starbucks two cities over, and that one is a dumpster fire where the team clearly could not care less, the place is a mess, and the coffee basically tastes like water. Yet they are both a Starbucks franchise that are expected to follow the same rules and regulations set by the brand. But it's still on ownership and management to enforce these policies into their team. We could also go down the rabbit hole of finding and hiring employees who want to work well and are capable of following company policies, but that's for another conversation.

Now, at no point is a hotel team looking at reservations with the intent of trying to find problem people. We assume everyone is coming in for normal reasons, and we look forward to their business; however, after working at a hotel enough times, you start to see patterns and signs with reservations that will start to raise flags with the staff. I'll go over these flags, but please note that a single flag or two does not mean we think you're going to be a problem guest. We are simply trained to identify flags, and after enough of them, you'll likely cause us to start monitoring you.

We'll use your initial prompt of two individuals choosing to check in together. Does that raise any flags? Of course not. We get spouses, parents with kids, couples, friends etc. checking into our hotels on a daily basis. It would be highly discriminatory of us if that was all it took for us to immediately watch over you. You also have to realize that we're dealing with hundreds of individuals on a daily basis. Some hotels have as few as 40-50 rooms in their hotel, while others can have 200+. That's a lot for any team to have to keep up with it. But a skilled manager or front desk agent can pick up on certain red flags rather quickly and mentally clock or note down if this is something to monitor. Let's go over some very common red flags hotels deal with on a regular basis.

Locals: I think this is a major one that many people don't realize. Hotels HATE locals. Why? Locals statistically cause hotels major problems. Here's a simple way to think about it. The majority of our guests are from out of town. They're either staying with us for company business, here to visit family in town, attending a concert or wedding function at a nearby venue, etc. All of these involve people who don't normally live in town. So that brings us to our locals. What reasons are there for such situations? There are very valid ones, don't get me wrong. We have people who just dealt with a house fire and are waiting on repairs to get done, there could be a power outage on the other side of town and they need a place to stay in the meantime, maybe they just need a staycation away from the mayhem of everyday life. There are many valid situations. Here's the thing, this is really only 10-20% of local reservations. The other 80-90% tend to be problems. For me personally in my location, locals tend to be drug dealers/users or they tend to be extremely large families trying to throw a massive party. These types of individuals are murder on our guestrooms. They're more likely to trash the room excessively, smoke in our rooms, damage our rooms, bring in heavy outside traffic, and cause disturbances to the staff and other guests. Everything that a hotel can't stand to have happen. Every hotel has their own policy when dealing with locals. Some flat out don't allow them. Some require a heftier deposit at check-in. And some may not care. If you're choosing to stay at a hotel within your area, don't be surprised if you run into something like this. The hotel is simply doing what it needs to to protect the business, as these travelers are high risk. At my hotel, we flag your reservation to all staff if you're a local. My housekeepers are trained to be more thorough analyzing for damage and smoking, and my desk is trained to watch for financial problems at check-in, heavy traffic, noise complaints, and reports of smoke odors. I also require a mandatory daily housekeeping to make sure you aren't causing me problems in my room.

General Heavy/Unknown Traffic: This is a bit of a catch all and can mean a couple of different things. The biggest one would be parties. Let's pretend a couple checks in for a room with the reservation designating two people for room 101. Then we suddenly see you come back with an entourage of 3 other adults and 8 kids in swimsuits because you planned to throw a birthday party and use our pool. Or instead, that entourage shows up 10 minutes after you checked in and brazenly asks the desk "Can you point us to room 101?". We immediately know what's going and are likely to shut this down. Or for another twist, you decide to try and sneak this entourage at the side door or rear entrance, and we either clocked you doing so on the security cameras or heard you all being loud down the hall. Or maybe we didn't see any of this, but now we're getting noise complaints from your neighbors or can blatantly hear the party going on in the pool. This type of traffic is difficult to hide, and causes all kinds of problems for the hotel. Your booking is set for the number of guests you listed, and no more. You are paying for the hotel's amenities for you and the registered guests. These outsiders are not paying for anything, so they don't have the privilege of our services.

Now let's take this down a notch. Typically a hotel desk shift for check-in runs from 3-11pm. Desk workers during this time typically pay attention to the comings and goings of the hotel. Let's a guest checks in. And then 30 minutes later we see an individual we haven't interacted with enter the hotel and leave an hour later. And then we see another person we haven't interacted with do the exact same. We may be curious and start watching what room these people are going to, whether by security camera or by following them. If we clock a bunch of random outsiders coming and going from a room, we're now suspecting drug or sex work of some kind. This will be more alarming if we see the guest secretly letting these outsiders in from the side/rear entrances on a frequent basis.

Third Party Bookings: More casual bookers and travelers are much more likely to book via a 3rd party. The most common being Expedia or Booking.com by far. These themselves aren't a flag, but hotels aren't a fan of them because they're a hassle to deal with, and the hotel makes less profit because of the commission we have to pay to these third parties. There are two instances in which a third party booking becomes a flag. 1) You book via a very obscure third party. An example for my area is Hopper. We rarely see this booking, and when we have, they've more often than not been problem guests for us. 2) How you handle yourself after booking a third party. Hotels may have different policies when checking in a third party reservation. We may have to authorize your payment method for a larger amount for example. But if you start to raise a stink about it, have your card locked, or don't have enough funds to cover this additional authorization or deposit, that's a flag.

Hotels much prefer when you book with us directly. It takes out the middle man whenever issues arise, and we're less likely to have additional policies/guardrails against you.

Underaged guests: Not necessarily a flag, but the vast majority of hotels simply do not allow guests under the age of 21 to check in to a hotel themselves. It's quite uncommon to find a hotel that will allow just 18+ to check in for a reservation. Again, the reason being that guests under 21 typically bring problems, usually of the partying variety. I personally have my own policies/rules to weed out problems with underaged travelers. I've somewhat regularly had 18-19 year old travelers on military deployment, or they're in town by themselves for the first time visiting colleges, or they're a player on a team and they drove ahead of their parent. The easy way around this is to simply have someone 21+ check in for you; however, if we clock that this person is simply checking in for you, handing over the keys, and permanently leaving the hotel, you're probably on our radar a bit. Now if it's two people, one significantly older and one younger, this could be a variety of things. First instincts for the desk is simply that it's a parent and child. But depending on the interaction between the two individuals upon checkin, or demeanors as the two of you walk together through the hotel, there could be flags we're trained on that it's potentially human trafficking going on.

I do want to close this section of with hotel training in regards to Human Trafficking. Every brand I've worked under has some form of mandatory Sex Trafficking training for hotel management and staff. The main theme of every training is that we are looking to identify people being trafficked against their will. The most common themes we look for are underaged girls, typically who shows signs of harm or abuse and maybe can't speak for themselves if we get the sense that coercion or exploitation might be happening and they then have constant traffic of men in and out of their room which as discussed, brings red flags to the staff for any and all types of hotel guests.

Practical advice for sex workers using hotels

Many independent sex workers use hotels either to visit a client in his room for an outcall or using a hotel room to host clients for incalls. What practical advice would you give to someone who wants to avoid creating unnecessary concern for hotel staff or management while still staying safe themselves? eg: What behaviours immediately draw attention? What behaviours are generally considered normal and unobtrusive? Does clothing or presentation matter as much as people think? Are day-use rooms viewed differently from overnight stays? Is a local address a red flag? Why/why not? Is there a “right” way to receive visitors? What mistakes do you most commonly see people make? Are there particular hotel environments, eg luxury hotels, conference hotels, casino hotels, budget chains, airport hotels, boutique hotels, etc, that tend to be more tolerant or less tolerant?

So in regards to how independent sex workers and escorts can avoid raising red flags against themselves and their clients, I will follow with my best bits of practical advice. Please note, there is not "wrong or right" way to go about your business. Every action you take can simply be a flag, and you are taking more and more of a risk with the more flags you raise. Some hotels may come at you after just one flag. Some hotels may do absolutely nothing if you throw every flag possible. Our goal here is to simply mitigate as many flags as possible to lower risk of anything happening to you.

Traffic: Ultimately, escorting is a business, and workers are trying to maximize their profit. I'm aware that some escorts may choose to book a hotel and host multiple clients in one day or over the course of a reservation. Every time a new individual is entering your room, whether you take them with you or they go to the room by themselves, that is the #1 flag you could ever raise to us. I would strongly encourage escorts to limit hotel sessions to just one or two individuals for one stay. I know for many this can be financially problematic, but you're really taking a huge gamble by trying to take on too many clients at one time at a hotel. For this situation, I'd say you're better of with an incall at your own place, but that obviously comes with its own risks and problems. I do not want to claim that I know the escort business, and I don't want to say I know how to do this best. But from a hotel stand point, you're really making things obvious to us whenever unusual traffic goes in and out of a single room. This is the #1 reason I have caught sex work, but it tends to lean more towards reckless pimps and their workers bringing in traffic without properly vetting or controlling the situation. I have personally never caught a proper escort keeping things on the down low because they did not bring in heavy traffic. Only once have I and my staff suspected it, but there were no red flags of traffic, they simply were with one guy, so we let it be.

Entrance of a Client or Escort to the hotel: How an escort chooses to have their clients enter a hotel can cause red flags, or vice versa if we're talking about outcalls and the escort arriving later. Overall there are 3 ways to go about this.
1) Meeting outside/off-site: Personally, this one is my favorite. The perfect scenario would be one of you checking into the hotel, you've noted on your reservation that there will be two adults, you go to your room to get all set up, and you meet your client/escort outside somewhere and bring them in. Go through the lobby, have casual conversation, go to your room, the hotel staff would think nothing of this. It's not unusual for us to have a husband and wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, family, etc. be coming at different times to a hotel. Just come together, act casually, and you're good to go. Now this situation would not work as well in a couple of different scenarios. If you frequent the same hotel over and over, the hotel staff mildly knows you, and we see you with a different partner each time, that could raise eyebrows. You also can't play this stunt off as easily if you're seeing multiple clients in one day. For escorts who see multiple clients and may want to stay anonymous, I would encourage maybe rotating hotels from time-to-time so that staff may not have as strong a memory of you and who you typically bring with you.
2) Having the client/escort go to your room after you've checked in: This option is okay in my book; however, you are putting a lot of faith in the other party following directions, acting normal, and not raising their own red flags to the staff without you present. I would maybe only encourage this with people you've properly screened and know how to follow directions or regulars you've already established a good working relationship with. Personal story, after talking with a new escort I had a session with, she told me about a client who had gone to the front desk and asked for her after not knowing where she was (obviously gave the staff her working name which they didn't have). This is the kind of scenario you want to avoid. If you choose to go this route, make sure to give your client/escort as much guidance as possible. Give them your room number, tell them where the elevator or stairs are located, let them know exactly where to meet you, whether the elevator requires a guest key and how you need to proceed if so, do they need to knock on your door or simply enter your room because you have the latch open. The individual simply needs to enter the hotel and act like they are a guest, not some lost outsider. Friendly greetings with other guests and staff are fine, and if anything will keep suspicions down. Just blend in, simple as that.
3) Sneaking your client in from a side entrance: Please just don't this. Hotels hate when anyone sneaks people in. You're making it obvious that you're bringing in outsiders that you haven't registered. We deal regularly with individuals sneaking in other people (and pets!); you're not fooling anybody. One good general rule of thumb: Assume every hotel has cameras at their entrances and that somebody could be watching. I can't encourage you enough to just not take this tactic.

Clothing: I won't get too detailed here, but I will simply say to please use a bit of common sense. There is a line to be crossed where what individuals choose to wear could start to raise eyeballs. Just to put it bluntly because I don't know a better way to say it, don't dress like a side-street prostitute. Dress in normal attire. Dress in your lazy comfy clothes. Dress classy! Classy is totally fine, it's not unusual for us to have guests plan a fun night out on the town. If you're showing a bit of skin, that's fine. But be aware that we likely have families with children staying at the hotel too, so don't overdo it to the point where they are complaining to us about you. Do not come out in the lobby or hallway dressed like you plan to for your client when your door closes and your session starts. If you have a client requesting you meet them in such attire outside, I would strongly encourage you take control of the situation and tell your client otherwise, or find yourself a different, more humble client.

Hotel Type/Environments: There are so many different types of hotels, and each one has their pros and cons. The easiest ones to blend in and keep red flags low would be larger, conference style hotels. Think the massive giants with meeting space, ballrooms, restaurants, and likely 200-300+ rooms. The lobbies are huge, and there are multiple ways to get into the building without having to be snuck in. The traffic in the hotel is likely already so high, staff can't keep track of every person coming and going. It's easy to blend in in this setting. However, this style of hotel is much more likely to have security cameras and maybe even their own security. So you still want to keep things cool and not draw attention to yourself. Again, the heavy traffic is this big one. Now, the smaller the hotel you go, the more difficult it is for you to "sneak in". Staff have less people to deal with and are more likely to recognize who's a guest and who is not. But they are less likely to have their own security or man power to keep track of everything, and maybe not as many cameras (but entrances are still the big areas where they likely will). There is also the stereotype of a more expensive hotel versus a low budget hotel. Low budget hotels typically draw in more problematic clientele (locals, drug dealers, and stereotypically sex traffickers). You're potentially less likely to be stereotyped as a sex worker at a higher end hotel, but obviously the hotel is more costly and eats into your bottom line. You could save money at a cheaper hotel, but depending on how you present yourself and if you've presented other red flags, you may get stereotyped more easily. However; these low budget hotels are also looking to get whatever money they can. They could be more likely to turn a blind eye to your red flags. Likewise, the high end hotel may take your red flags more seriously for the sake of their reputation, so one or two flags may be enough to have them request you to leave. This also leads to the next situation:

Day-Use: I was actually taken aback by how much this topic came up during my AMA. Personally, at my hotel, I don't play in Day Use, both the booking site, or the general term of it meaning that you’re paying to use a room for only a few hours. Most smaller hotels don’t have the capacity to clean a room throughout the day. Once the room is used, it’s gone until the next day when we have housekeeping again. I would rather sell that room to someone who will book it for the full day than waste it to someone paying half the rate for a few hours. In my opinion, there are only two types of hotels that likely play in Day Use rooms. Hotels that have the regular manpower (i.e. evening housekeeping) to quickly turn that room over to still make standard profit on a regular booking; or, hotels that are struggling to sell all their rooms, and would rather make a little profit on that room than nothing at all.
Kind of going back to where we discussed locals, Day Use rooms have their own stereotype. The “good” stereotype would be someone who simply needs to take a quick nap or refresh before heading back out on the road. But normally, Day Use rooms are almost guaranteed to be stereotyped as some sort of illegal activity. I understand that paying less for a room for just a session time is appealing, but simply booking this type of stay will almost guarantee a red flag. If paired with any previous red flags, the hotel could likely start to take action.

Surveillance, monitoring, and guest privacy

Many people have exaggerated ideas about how much hotels monitor guests. What kinds of monitoring systems are actually common in modern hotels? eg: CCTV, Keycard tracking, Wi-Fi packet sniffing, Incident reporting systems, Software used to log notes about guests, Chain-wide, state-wide or nationwide shared blacklists, Facial recognition tech? And how much attention do staff actually pay to individual guests?

With this topic, I'm going to be open that most of my knowledge and experience comes from medium to smaller scale hotels. Larger scale hotels likely have heavier monitoring capabilities that I just don't have experience with. That being said, I can still cover basic hotel surveillance and guest monitoring.

I want to answer that last question first. How much attention do we pay to individual guests? Not much unless we have to. We've been going over various flags and how to keep them low or non-existent. If you start to raise flags with the hotel team, now we may start to actually pay attention to individual guests or the people they are bringing in. Here's a basic example. A group checks in and we find a completely separate family comes in that they've invited to use our pool for a birthday party. We may approach you and tell you the other family has to leave otherwise we'll make you leave the hotel. Even if they oblige, you better believe we've passed the message onto the rest of the team and we're keeping an eye on you to make sure you don't sneak more friends and family into the hotel.

The most basic type of security that many (not all) hotels will have is security cameras. Every hotel handles this differently, and it ultimately comes down to cost. Some may just have them at certain locations (entrances, elevator landings, front desk), some may include more common areas (hallways, restaurant/breakfast/bar, public area entrances), and you may get more specific (parking lots, elevators themselves). For most security systems, the more cameras you have the more costly to upkeep, so it's safe to say that larger hotels that are more profitable will cover more area. Smaller hotels may only cover the basics. Even though some hotels may have no monitoring, or even dummy cameras to pretend they have monitoring, I would always assume that at least all entrances to the hotel, elevator landings, and the front desk have cameras watching over them.
Who has access to these cameras vary from location to location. Again, it's safe to assume that upper management can review camera footage. Select locations may give their front desk access to security cameras (I do this, and it's done my hotel wonders stamping out problem guests). I won't say that hotels have staff that monitors cameras 24/7 unless we're getting into casino hotels or larger conference hotels that may have their own security team. These may be likely, but it's not worth the money and labor for the rest of us smaller hotels. It's also important to note if the hotel actually has a good team in place. I've hired workers who care about their job, stay at the front desk, interact with people, and pay attention to their surroundings. I've also hired people who end up being lazy and doing the absolute bare minimum. Some hotels may have a desk team who hide away only until they see someone coming to the desk. You may also have a person who sees red flags, but doesn't want to get involved and will let anything slide. The character of the hotel employees and management matter when it comes to their attentiveness to the comings and going of our guests.

Now when it actually comes to viewing camera footage, if the hotel desk team doesn't have access to it, but they or management get red flags regarding a situation, management may start to investigate camera footage to see what's been going on. Again, not worth my time to watch footage 24/7, but if enough problems with a guest come up, then I'll start to investigate.

Now regarding Wifi Packet sniffing, I actually had to look this up to even know what it was. Could this be possible? Sure, but I don't see a world where a hotel is doing this. Again, it's not worth the time and money for its use. When it comes to actual internet data & security, the only times in my history we've ever had to use this feature is if I need to get in touch with my management company's tech team to look into a security breach or a system outage. Are we snooping into guest history and searches? I can say with almost 100% certainty, no. This is something law enforcement would be doing. Facial Recognition I will also throw towards a maybe with bigger casino/conference hotels. I don't know if they're doing it, but I can see this being a thing down the line. Again, the cost of it seems too high for me to see it as worth people's time now. Maybe when the technology becomes cheaper.

Regarding Keycard tracking, this I assume you mean our ability to read door locks. Yes, we have the power to do so, but we only do it if there is a need. For example, just last week we had an odd chemical odor in a room that came suddenly when the room had been vacant for days. I am able to read the lock to identify who has been in and out of that room in the past 'X' days I'm searching. I can use this tool at any time, but again I am only doing so if there is a major security reason that I need to look into. This feature simply tells me what keys are used in the room (the guest's actual key, a specific master key, etc.) and what time. I usually use this feature in conjunction with security footage to paint me a picture of what I'm investigating.

One thing that many people don't realize is that most brands/chains don't communicate that well with each other. If Mr. Smith caused me a problem at my hotel, I can and will document the issue in your reservation profile and our own in-house log; however, this information isn't transferred over to the same hotel chain/franchise in the city next door or across the country. Our systems currently aren't capable of doing that. Further, and to be blunt, there are some crappy hotels out there. I've heard the stories of some hotels kicking out guests for pretty cruddy reasons. If that hotel suddenly put awful notes about you, is the hotel on the other side of town really going to trust them? We would be getting into heavy issues of discrimination with that kind of power. The only main things that track with you are if you set yourself up with a hotel's loyalty program and provide us with your room/stay preferences. Stuff like that will follow your profile to other hotels within the same franchise, but not behavior or red flags that individual hotels log on you. Now one thing to note is that many hotels within an area may have a good relationship with each other or may be under the same management company/ownership. Fun fact, if you see 2-4 hotels all next door to each other, 95% chance they are owned by the same people. In these instances, if we have guests that cause us problems, we very well indeed may call each other and let them know if we've kicked out a guest or had problems with them.

Here's the biggest problem when it comes to actually "blacklisting" a guest. Hotels have a very high turnover rate compared to many other industries. And I've worked at hotels with very long blacklists. It's completely impractical for new employees to know and memorize every name on a possible blacklist. We don't have the time, nor is it appropriate, for us to review every single person that enters our doors to see if they've ever wronged our hotel. Personally, I've done away with blacklists at hotels I run unless you were a massive problem at our hotel. Even then, how long am I going to hold you to it? If you show up 5 years later, will I still be blacklisting you? Maybe. But will I or my team still even be there to remember? Unlikely; however, there are hotels that have workers who've been there for 15+ years. If you stirred up enough trouble, it's possible the veteran employees will remember you and tell their management and desk team about you. My current hotel has many workers who've been there for 10+ years, while I was only there for 2-3. They love to look through guests coming in and tell me about bad histories with some of them. In which I then look through old reservations and notes to find out if I need to stop you from staying with me.

Hotels and law enforcement

There’s a lot of uncertainty among sex workers about how hotels interact with police. In practice, when will hotel staff cooperate with law enforcement, and when will they push back or require formal legal process? eg: Would you normally require a subpoena or warrant before releasing guest information? How do hotels typically respond to welfare checks? What happens if police want to operate a sting operation at your hotel? Are there situations where staff are legally required to report concerns immediately? Do hotel managers generally prioritize protecting guest privacy, avoiding liability, avoiding disruption, or something else?

This is probably my favorite topic, only because it's very tricky to handle, there is a lot of grey area to work with, and it's a huge challenge for hotel staff as well. We'll start with the easiest answer. If hotel law enforcement ever shows up at my property with a warrant, we're obviously going to comply. We're going to follow the law when required and not put ourselves in legal jeopardy. Now, in my 10 years of working a hotel, I have yet to have police come to my location with a warrant. What's more common is police randomly showing up and asking questions about possible activity in the area and/or a person they're looking for who they believe may be at the property. How this information is provided on a case-by-case basis by the hotel.

I will start this scenario off by saying I have a mixed relationship with the law enforcement. I was personally raised by parents who made sure I didn't just "let law enforcement in" or provide them with anything they ask for. As soon as you let them in your door (either at home or in your place of business), you've given up all control to them. I've also seen too many times law enforcement use their authority to intimidate me or my team to give them information they're looking for, and I have strong ethical issues with people who do this. Because of all this, I am one who trains my hotel team to never assist with law enforcement without a warrant and that they are always to call me first and I will deal with them. A hotel's job is first and foremost to protect our guests. You're under our roof, and it's our job to keep you and your information private. We aren't telling other guests that you are staying at our hotel (we don't know who they are or their relationship to you) and this rule applies to law enforcement too. I once had law enforcement come to my team asking for information on someone, my team told them they needed a warrant and that we can't, and the police then got angry at my team and told them "Your manager must love running a drug ring then." And guess what. I reported that behavior to their supervisor and the mayor of my town. I don't tolerate that nonsense; however, I am likely a rare breed here. Some hotels will help law enforcement for any situation every time they show up. They either don't want to be in a bad relationship with local law enforcement, or they see no reason to hide information that police specifically is looking for. Now please note that if we deny police access to your information or to a guest room, that does not stop them from roaming my halls or patrolling the area. Personally, I don't mind when they do this. It gives some guests a sense of security.

Now, I'm going to completely back track on everything I've just said and state that there are times in which I do willingly give information to the police if they come asking. I have had guests who have raised a number of red flags in my hotel in the past. Usually the biggest ones being locals who are bringing in a noticeable amount of outside traffic to my hotel. If you're already on our radar, and police suddenly show up asking about you, I've put two-and-two together and am likely going to cooperate to get you off my property since I was planning to figure out how to do so anyway. You getting caught doing suspicious activity in my hotel is likely to prevent you from staying with me in the future, so it's a win-win for me. I also have a relationship with my local police investigative team. If I have a guest that's causing a lot of red flags, I may ask if the police know anything about you, and if so, request that they patrol my hotel to keep an eye on suspicious activity. Usually when this happens, my problem guest is aware of the heightened security and opt to check out the next day and not come back.

Welfare checks are an interesting topic, and my desk teams struggle with this one. But not with authorities, but more with when your family is calling. We've had times when parents, spouses, etc. will call the hotel thinking their loved one is at the hotel and is concerned for your safety. Even if the story sounds difficult and is pulling at our heart strings, we still can't give out that information. Usually what I tell my team to say is "If this person is here, we will pass along the information that you called." In these instances, we will personally reach out to the guest and explain the call we had. We've had guests who are purposely hiding from abusive situations, overbearing parents/spouses, you name it. The worst I ever dealt with is a woman who's ex-husband was staying at our hotel (who was an awful human being to my staff, his girlfriend who was also staying, and a likely heavy drug user) who had their infant and wasn't responding to her calls and she just wanted to make sure that her baby was okay. It killed me to have to tell her I couldn't give out info, but I made it a point to talk to the jerk guest and tell him he needed to call his baby mama. Now all this to say, if police come visit us to do a welfare check, we are likely to comply with this request. As intimidating as police can be with their authority, I have never once believed they lied to me and my team that a welfare check was requested on an individual. If someone's actual safety and well being is at risk, we're going to help. Just the same as if a guest were to call 911 needing an ambulance or help, I'm not suddenly going to prevent help, I'm going to assist in getting you help that's been requested.

Now when it comes to stings, I have only once ever run into this situation. For this, the police came specifically asking for me for my permission to host a sting at my property. Legally, the authorities need a warrant and permission to do so. They can't just rent a room and do it without us knowing. They made it a point to let me know what the purpose of the sting was for, how it would operate, and that everything would be done "discretely". In this instance, I declined to help them with the operation. In my mind, there is too much risk for me and the hotel. Personally, I don't believe anything that authorities would do can be "discrete". If their sting is successful, I will have guests witnessing possible traffic in and out of my hotel, and possibly an arrest. That could leave a bad image/reputation to my property that I don't want to have to deal with. I could lose future business. And I don't want an eventual known sting to paint my hotel as being a problem hotel that everyone should avoid. Now, I would imagine if a hotel is having major problems with illegal activity going on, they may be willing to help host a sting, as public knowledge of this could stamp out the problem from continuing. This situation is a really a cost-benefit analysis. To me, the cost was too high for no gain at my property.

Regarding times when we legally have to report issues/concerns, if we have strong evidence of illegal activity going on, we're likely to report it. If I've gathered enough evidence that someone is illegally selling drugs or is sex trafficking, I'm going to report the problem, but again, I need strong evidence of it. In my history, we're more likely to find ourselves reporting issues of abuse and violence at our hotel, as this takes very little evidence to confirm. We've had drunken fights in our lobbies or my worst is the sounds of arguing and fighting happening between two individuals in a room that gets reported to my team. This is typically when we quickly have law enforcement called over.

This topic overall truly covers the general idea thought process of "don't cause the hotel problems." It sounds pretty easy and straightforward, but it's amazing the number of guests who just can't carry themselves in an appropriate manner. We don't want to report you to the police. We don't want to be monitoring you 24/7. We want you to stay at our property and have a good time at the location or in town, and we want you to keep coming back to the hotel. But if you start giving us red flags and reason to believe that you are going to be a problem guest, we may start to take action. You causing a disruption to our hotel, my team, and my guests is not worth the money of your 1-2 night stay. Red flags can be seen and noticed by my staff and my guests. This can cause my team to feel uncomfortable and want to quit, and my guests to feel uncomfortable and never want to stay again. All of that costs us money, and we would rather never see you again than risk losing employees or other futures guests.

Safety tips, misconceptions, and hotel etiquette

Are there any practical tips you’d give relating to: Using a hotel room for a photoshoot, Freestyling in hotel bars, Calling reception prior to an outcall and asking to speak to Mr X in room Y, to confirm he's genuinely checked in and not some kind of timewaster.

For a hotel photo shoot, simply call and ask the hotel desk if this is going to be okay. It's likely in this instance that they will get a manager involved to get their approval. For a photoshoot, it's assumed you will be bringing in a lot of equipment and some outside traffic. If you don't bring this to our attention, it will come off as a red flag and a problem to deal with. But if you're up front that it's for a photoshoot, the details of the photographer's business, a business card, letting us know that the individuals will be coming and then leaving and won't cause a problem, then it's possible we'll let you move forward without an issue. It's possible a hotel may not be okay with this, and you need to respect that. A hotel may not like the visual look of traffic going in and out of your room and how that may be perceived by other guests. Many hotels also have very distinct features, so your photos may give away exactly the hotel you did the photoshoot at. And we have no control of how our hotel will be perceived in your photos and where they will be seen. Please see things from our point of view if we have concerns and respect that we may not be okay with it.

If you're going to be freestyling at a hotel bar, just be careful how obvious you are making your intentions. Of any staff member in a hotel, the bartender is probably the most chill and the person you want on your side. They've seen it all, and they know more secrets about our guests than anyone. At the same time, they're making sure to keep the hotel's best interest at heart (as well as their own job). Be respectful or classy in how you dress, and keep your conversations to you and who you are with or are meeting. Don't cause disruptions to other guests who are nearby. And be cautious of who you choose to approach. When alcohol is involved in any capacity, people get a little too relaxed and you may not be able to control the situation and what the other party says/does. If you are a regular freestyler at a hotel bar, be cognizant that the hotel bartender/team may start to recognize you. In these situations, hopefully you are a hotel guest or can play off being one, otherwise it may be more obvious that you have other intentions at the location.

If you are working an outcall in which a client arrives to the hotel first, and you need to screen for your safety that your client is at their room, please give instructions to your client that this is your protocol. They need to provide their name (do your screenings!) and the room number and expect your call. If you call the hotel front desk, we will not transfer you to a room unless you are able to provide us a name and room number. You being able to do so proves to us that this information was given to you by the guest, and we won't have any suspicions with you doing so. If you only provide a name or a room number by itself, we cannot transfer you.

AM Davies, The president of YAS Work kindly agreed to an interview for the Sex Worker search blog.

In 2020, AM Davies started “Yes, a Stripper Podcast”. After a year of doing the podcast by themselves, they opened up the platform to other hosts, which include Onyx Sachi, Daisy Ducati and GiGi Holliday. Collectively, this crew, along with Makenzie Mizell, produced over 125 episodes in which all types of sex workers have been interviewed. It’s become a place for sex workers to come to to tell their stories.

To educate and entertain audiences with the stories of sex workers and shift public perception through podcasts, panels, media production, and consulting—ultimately driving action and allyship.

YAS Work envisions a world where sex workers are seen, heard, and respected—where their stories are told with dignity, their rights are protected, and their voices shape culture, policy, and public perception. Through unapologetic storytelling, transformative education, and strategic advocacy, YAS Work aims to build a future where sex work is de-stigmatized, decriminalized, and integrated into broader movements for social justice and equity.

You can follow YAS Work on Bluesky, Watch the YAS Podcast on Youtube, and go shopping for wearable pieces of artwork designed by current and former sex workers.

1.Your journey from stripper to activist and podcast presenter.

You worked as a stripper from 2002 to 2022 and later became deeply involved in organizing with Strippers United, media work with United Pole Artists, and now hosting the YAS Podcast. A similar timeline to me actually. I started escorting about 25 years ago with ads in the back of local newspapers. In person sex work has changed so much. Looking back over those two decades, what changes in the strip club industry stand out most to you, both positive and negative? And what issues affecting strippers feel most urgent today?

Thank you for this question, as the changes have been rapid and significant. In fact, the evolution of the strip club has been like a series of hot flashes, with the entire industry having to adapt and change with every decade as we become more dependent on technology over time. In my time, since the early 2000’s, I’ve seen the boom of social media, which has been one of the things that catalysed massive change in several ways. For one, it allowed us to talk more and learn from each other what we all were dealing with in our workplaces. We’ve been able to raise awareness of exploitation, and to teach people more about stigma and discrimination. Social media allowed strippers to stay connected to clients without giving out phone numbers and helped workers let people know where they would be and when. But what it also did was create a crutch for the club owners and managers. They know that workers are on social media and have relied heavily on that, coercing and pressuring dancers to post to get customers in, instead of paying for advertising. In some cases, clubs won’t hire dancers with small or no social media accounts.

Because of stigma and the idea that the strip club workplace is “supposed to be toxic”, the exploitation has run rampant. Because they have gone unchecked and not stood up to enough, they think they can, and they do, get away with the most egregious of terms with their workers, including charging exorbitant house fees, and in some places, charging workers when they call out for being sick or whatever they need to call out for. I’ve watched this type of treatment escalate over the last 20 years.

I think what is most urgent today is to come together and stand in solidarity for working conditions. The industry is shrinking, clubs are closing, a lot of clubs have been empty. We don’t want clubs to shutter, we don’t want to sue them for millions which then causes them financial troubles. We’d rather just have fair working conditions and find ways to work with management so business can prosper.

2. What would the perfect strip club look like?

In one recent YAS episode you spoke with representatives Margot and Sabeen from Fired Up Stilettos in New Zealand about labour rights and organizing in strip clubs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhuOSDwGMVA&t=11s New Zealand is rightly seen as a global leader in sex work thanks to decriminalization, but strip club working conditions still vary widely even there.

I found it so interesting to see this video alongside a very different look at the same industry in USA described by Vampiress. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfMvCmmKcNk and I really enjoyed your chat with Sam Sun from the East London Stripper Collective https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMA9m4wJXlo too with a very different perspective again from this side of the pond.

In your view, is there such a thing as a universal best practice model for strip clubs internationally, or are the solutions always country specific? If we imagine a hypothetical "perfect" club operating under ideal laws with ethical management, what would that actually look like from a dancer’s perspective?

I think strip clubs should celebrate the culture of their region. So, what is good for one club will not work for another, just like you probably noticed in the episode with Sam Sun. In the UK, they only accept coins as tips, so making it rain is not a thing.

As for the hypothetical “perfect” club… I mean, I don’t know about everyone else, but I have a vision. First, it would be gender inclusive. It would not discriminate based on age, race or body size or ability. Hiring practices would be based on talent or potential talent, creativity, social skills, stage presence. Workers of all kinds would go through safety training, including a handbook about the workplace, management would have had experience in the sex trade. Dancers get paid to work like everyone else, plus keep all their tips and dance money. The club would make money on memberships, alcohol, other drinks, snacks, food, merchandise. Dancers have a say in the decisions made at the club. As it is right now, these bigger clubs make so much money that some of them can afford to be sued millions of dollars and keep going. They do however, start to raise house fees when they have to payout large settlement fees. They could instead, do the right thing and not be so greedy. My ideal club situation doesn’t make the owner(s) filthy rich, but they would live very comfortably..

3. Translating sex work realities for different audiences

One thing I noticed watching several YAS Podcast episodes is that you are very deliberate about, and highly skilled at, making conversations accessible. You often pause and ask guests to explain industry jargon or concepts so non sex workers can follow along.

Your audience includes sex workers, allies, activists, educators, policymakers, and the general public. How do you balance speaking authentically to the community while also making the conversation understandable to people outside it? Do you have a sense of which audiences you most hope are actually listening?

Yes, I do have a sense of who I hope is listening. I feel like people who want to know more about sex work and the issues are listening. I feel like sex workers who are on the fringe of advocacy (or full on in) are listening. And I know that pole dancers and civilians have been listening. Based on things I’ve picked up on, I also believe that sex worker enthusiasts are listening, meaning fans of sex workers. I think that really started happening when Daisy got serious on the podcast. She’s done such a good job over the years of entertaining and educating her audience even outside of the podcast. They really admire her and listen when she speaks.
When I’m hosting, the podcast is like my own private party, where no one is judging the conversation and all kinds of people are in the circle. We're all listening together. My goal is to earn trust with sex workers while helping civilians understand the realities of this work.

4. Understanding other sectors of sex work

I moderate the r/sexworkers and r/sexworkersonly subreddits, and something I have become very aware of is how different each sector of sex work can be and yet how much we do have in common and how valuable community can be when we are united. As a male escort in the UK I sometimes feel like I am reasonably knowledgeable about my own corner of the industry. But when it comes to stripping, I am probably somewhere in the "Valley of Despair" stage of the Dunning Kruger curve. Maybe I know enough to realise how little I actually know.

What are some of the biggest misconceptions people from other parts of the sex industry have about stripping and strip club culture? And more broadly, what do you see as the benefits of greater unity across the industry and stronger solidarity between different kinds of sex workers?

I feel like there are misconceptions about what strippers do and don’t do under the umbrella of sex work. Some people have argued that stripping is not sex work. The thing is, stripping can be all kinds of things, down to what happens in the club and what some do outside of the club. We also deal with whorearchy, which goes both ways. In one way, if you are more of a whore than others, you may be judged. The other way, if you are not as big of a whore but identify as a whore, you may be judged as “not whore enough”. At the end of the day, we all deal with discrimination and judgement from normal society. I propose that we stick together, no matter the size of one’s whoredom. The benefits of solidarity are perhaps better mental health situations? We would have less drama between each other? We could stand with each other against harmful workplaces. There are whorearchy issues that happen within the club, dancer against dancer, and the resentment towards each other keeps them from agreeing on most things. That is what management wants.

5. What have we missed?

You often end YAS Podcast interviews by asking guests something along the lines of "What have we missed?" or "What do you most want people to know?"

So I would like to ask you the same question. What is the most important thing about stripping, sex worker organizing, or the excellent work YAS is doing that you wish more people, especially the public and policymakers, understood and any calls to action you'd like to include?

Thank you for asking! What I’d like most for people to know about me personally, is several years ago, I made a commitment to sex workers, to do what I could to support them, given I had lost my foot. I had a strong urge to give back because of the privilege I operated under for a long time in the industry. That is why I do this work now, and is why we add hosts and voices to YAS Work. My vision has been to create this platform for others to speak more, for me to speak less, as times goes on. We are in the process of developing a network now, where other sex workers will have their own shows. This has been years in the making!

Thank you so much for these very thoughtful questions. It’s been a pleasure answering them!

A big thank you to Alley for agreeing to this interview.

Creator's Spicy Tea is absolutely indispensable for content creators seeking education, resources, and community.

You can also find Creator's Spicy Tea on Reddit and Patreon.

1) The Creator's Spicy Tea website is an absolute treasure trove of information, especially for people starting out as adult content creators. Your output is prodigious! You're publishing so much excellent content. Where do you get your ideas for topics for new articles?

Thank you so much for the acknowledgement of everything we put out. We have a overreaching goal of getting out every bit of information we can to help as many new or even veteran creators so it is always so good to hear things like this.

We tend to find new ideas for resources from our communities. We want to prioritize resources that the community is in need of in the moment. Often we will have requests coming from the Patreon, Creators Resource Chats, the private Patreon members only Telegram Group, and more often than not we will creep across the creator based online communities on Reddit to find what people are currently struggling with. Another way we come across ideas for resources is by all team members being heavily involved throughout the selling communities such as moderating for r/fetishhaven, r/FetishWantAds, and the affiliations we have with other selling communities. With that back end access, where we are helping run, or are affiliated with teams helping run these selling communities we are able to identify any misinformation or patterns right away and put out any information that we can to try and help.

2) One of my blog posts "How to Get Started as a Male Sex Worker" ranks high on the first page on Google for certain search terms so I get WhatsApp messages every day from guys wanting advice. The thing is, most of them (a) don't say "please", (b) haven't bothered to use a spell checker, or Google Translate or Gen AI to construct a coherent sentence, and (c) give me no indication that they have made any effort whatsoever to do any research, or inform themselves in any way. They've read the title of that blog post, clicked "contact" and sent me a crudely worded message just blurting out their demands like a grumpy toddler. I'm also a mod on /r/sexworkers and I remove dozens of posts every day of a similar genre to the above. I've looked at your keywords on Ahrefs and I know you mod subreddits so it seems likely you get these kinds of messages too? If so, do you respond to them? What do you say?

3) What kind of questions do you think content creators should be asking content sale platforms regarding their privacy policies and what kind of responses would you expect? At what point is a platform too lazy, corrupt and incompetent to be entrusted with users' identity documents?

When I hand a platform my ID, I want plain-English answers to a short list of non-negotiables.

1. Where are my documents stored,
2. which country and which cloud,
3. how long are you retaining them, and what triggers deletion.
4. Who sees them, including the exact vendor and any sub-processors, and is everything encrypted throughout the process.
5. What are your breach response timelines, do you notify creators within x amount of hours, and do you publish annual transparency and security audit results.
6. How can I submit a data deletion request, and will that also purge backups.
7. Finally, how do you minimize data, for example can you verify age without storing a full passport photo forever.

If a platform cannot answer those in writing, links me to a vague FAQ, or asks me to email my ID to a generic support inbox, it is too lazy or too risky for my legal identity. My expectations are specific, transparently named vendors with contracts, dated policies with versions, documented retention schedules, audit trails, and security procedures creators can escalate to. I take privacy seriously because my content is face forward while my legal identity stays private, and that line does not get crossed. If a platform even hints at not being capable of managing that, im not giving them my data.

4) While I was writing these questions an email from FSC https://www.freespeechcoalition.com/

 dropped into my inbox with 3 items of good news. Paraphrased.

New Policies for Deepfake and NCII Removal

Last year, the President signed the TAKE IT DOWN Act, which provides criminal and civil penalties for the distribution of revenge porn ("non-consensual intimate visual depictions") and deepfakes ("digital forgeries") involving intimate conduct. It goes into effect this May.

Actual Recourse for Banking Denials

In August, President Trump issued an Executive Order limiting the denial of banking services on the basis of "lawful business activities." While rules are still being promulgated as to how this will affect our industry's access to banking, early signs are positive.

Tipped Income Exemption

In July, Congress passed a law exempting much tipped income from taxation, a potential boon for adult creators.

I'm far from being a Trump supporter. I think the man urgently needs a history lesson. Imperialism doesn't work out well for imperialists. e.g. the British Empire, Hitler, the USSR. Him invading Venezuela and wanting to annex Greenland is a disaster. USA should be a peacekeeper. Being incapable of learning from history due to arrogance has a name. The name is hubris.

What do you think about those new laws and their implications for content creators?

I could never be a fan of Donald Trump either and will absolutely outwardly oppose him every step of the way. However, in his bumblings and wake of chaos, some of the changes made could potentially trend positive for creators or at least be utilized for a net positive by creators.

The tipped income change can be meaningful if your revenue genuinely qualifies as tips on the platform you use. On any platform, if you provide anything in return such as content or services, it is not a tip. If a portion of your earned income does actually count as a tip, the new deduction cap matters for budgeting and quarterly estimates for sure, but creators should absolutely make their lives easier and track tip type separately, retain platform statements, and confirm everything through a CPA before changing withholdings.

The new federal deepfakes and NCII Removal law gives folks real leverage, and it forces platforms and sites to remove flagged content quickly under oversight from FTC. That is just overall a net positive if enforcement targets the bad actors. But, there needs to be care taken that things like AI moderation doesn’t over-remove legal adult content. From my understanding there is healthy criticism from some digital rights groups about collateral censorship, so creators need tight documentation regarding their ownership of their content, and any licensing or rights to others content.

On banking access, the Executive Order is encouraging, it tells regulators to push back on de-banking of lawful businesses, but the real gauge is going to be how agencies and banks implement it. The morality codes etc that this EO are making unlawful benefited these businesses. I would not put it past some corporations to re-word it, tie a new bow on it, and keep trucking forward the same. I won't be restructuring my financial practices based on these headlines just yet until we see implementation practices and real-world use procedures.

5) What do you foresee as the future for adult content creators? I'm not sure if you're familiar with the work of Cory Doctorow but he's something of an expert on tech and where big tech's worst inclinations meet with society's right to use tech in ways that suit us, not to have our digital rights trampled all over. He's recently proposed https://pluralistic.net/2026/01/01/39c3/#the-new-coalition

 that (I paraphrase again (probably badly this time)) the reason it's illegal to jailbreak an iPhone, or Android phone and run whatever apps you want on it rather than just apps approved by Apple store or Google play, not just illegal in the USA but illegal everywhere in the world, is because USA has always threatened the rest of the world's governments with tariffs if they don't make it illegal in their own countries. And now that tariffs have happened anyway, there's no incentive to comply. So those laws will inevitably change. They have already started to change. I'm excited about the implications for sex workers. A social media app that openly supports us, or even one designed by, and specifically for, us could exist. An "Uber for escorts" type app that enables trust ratings for clients and providers could exist, a Gen AI assisted sex worker search engine could exist where clients could enter natural language queries explaining exactly who they'd like to meet, what they'd like to do, how much they want to spend, where and when, describe past experiences positive and negative and find their perfect match. All as apps. Not Web apps. Actual apps. What do you think?

I share the excitement that mobile ecosystems are loosening. Even if they are finally doing so due to, again, an entitled man's stupidity. If phone gatekeepers lose the ability to ban entire categories by policy flat out, we will finally be able to see creator-first apps that are not at the mercy of over restrictive and exclusionary adult content rules from the likes of Apple and Google. Though we are starting to see the possibility of this happening because of this loosening ecosystem, it is important to remember this isn't the final hurdle. It does not erase financial rails and local law constraints. But, damn am i excited with the concept of open paths for safe marketplaces, creator friendly discovery, community, and more direct ownership of our expression and autonomy.

I spoke with new escort directory on the block, Ur Little Secret, recently and they kindly agreed to answer my questions about their privacy policies.

I asked the same questions I sent out to all the other directories when I was researching for Privacy Policies of Sex Worker Directories.

Here are the responses from Ur Little Secret.

Do you require personally identifying information from sex workers for verification?

Yes.

We require one time age verification for all providers. This allows us to confirm that everyone using the platform is a legal adult and helps protect against impersonation and underage access.

This is a baseline requirement for operating responsibly across different legal environments.

Identity documents?

We ask for a government issued photo ID.

Verification is completed once and does not need to be repeated unless there is a genuine account safety concern.

Selfies?

Yes. Using both a selfie and ID allows us to confirm that an account is being created by a real person and that the ID belongs to them. At the moment, this is the most reliable way to prevent fake profiles and identity misuse.

Can these be partially obscured or redacted?

No.

For verification to be meaningful, identity documents need to be fully visible, unredacted, and clear. If parts of a document are hidden, we cannot reliably confirm that it is valid.

Do you sell our identities and/or personal details to third party advertisers?

No.

We do not sell or monetise identity documents, selfies, personal details, or profile data.

Do you take any steps to secure our identities from hackers or in case your servers were seized?

Yes. Data security is built into how the system works.

Identity documents are encrypted using AES 256, an industry standard used to protect highly sensitive data by banks and government institutions. If you want to understand the standard itself, you can read about it here:

Advanced_Encryption_Standard

We manage our own encryption keys. This means that even our hosting provider cannot access identity files. If servers were ever seized, the data would remain unreadable without those keys.

All uploads and access happen over encrypted HTTPS connections. Identity documents are used only for verification and to protect accounts from misuse. Access is limited, controlled, and logged so there is a clear record of when and why documents are accessed.

Are our identity documents and selfies deleted after verification?

Yes.

Government-issued ID is used once to confirm that the person creating the account is a legal adult and matches the submitted selfie. Once verification is completed, the ID document is permanently deleted.

The selfie is retained only so we can confirm that future photo uploads belong to the same person. This helps prevent impersonation and stolen images.

Stored offline?

They are stored in secured, encrypted systems that are not publicly accessible.

Encrypted?

Yes.

Documents are encrypted at rest and in transit. Unencrypted storage is not used.

If you were told you could protect yourself from prosecution by freely handing over the identities of sex workers to authorities, would you do so?

No.

We do not hand over identity data voluntarily. Any request must be backed by a valid, legally binding court order or subpoena and go through legal review. Informal requests or pressure are not enough.

Or would you put up a fight and demand that they get a subpoena?

Yes.

Where the law allows, we challenge requests that are not properly issued or that go beyond what is legally required. If data must be disclosed, it is limited strictly to what the law demands.

Do you honour deletion requests?

Yes.

Users can delete their account directly from their account settings.

In entirety?

Yes.

Deletion covers profile data, images, identity documents, and encrypted records linked to the account. Once the deletion process is complete, the data cannot be recovered.

How long does this take?

Account deactivation happens immediately. Fully removing encrypted data from distributed systems can take up to 30 days.

Some platforms describe deletion as instant. In practice, securely removing encrypted data across distributed systems takes time.

We believe privacy is a fundamental right, not a marketing feature.

Our approach focuses on clear boundaries, strong technical safeguards, resistance to overreach, and giving users control over their data. If you have questions or suggestions about how this can be improved, we are open to hearing them.

I recently arranged for the team at Tryst, an advertising platform made by sex workers for sex workers, to do an AMA, Ask Me Anything Interview on the /r/sexworkers subreddit so that people could ask questions and receive responses in real-time during a four hour time window.

As a volunteer moderator on the /r/sexworkers and /r/sexworkersonly subreddits, I'm sometimes an intermediary when sex workers are having trouble with their Tryst accounts and I comment tagging the username of the Tryst representatives on reddit. They get a notification that their username has been mentioned and sometimes this helps eg to get people's ads online sooner when they're waiting for verification.

Via reddit comments, modmails behind the scenes with the Tryst team and emailing Tryst about their privacy policies for my previous blog post, I've gotten a sense that Tryst are amongst the few good guys out there running escort directories.

I'm not affiliated with Tryst, I'm not on their payroll and I suppose we're in competition, or we will be when Sexworkersearch reaches it's full potential.

But I don't mind saying, I think Tryst is the best platform out there for sex workers to advertise on right now.

They're not perfect. Tryst have their issues.

It currently takes them a month or two to verify each new account.

Scammers are, unfortunately proliferating.

Many accounts are scammers pretending to be in person providers with zero intention of ever meeting a client in person in an effort to direct traffic to online only content sales platforms like Onlyfans.

There's room for improvement but importantly, they are working hard to resolve these issues and do genuinely want to improve.

So far, Only Tryst, out of all the escort directories, has made any effort at all to ask sex workers on reddit what we think.

Megapersonals has also expressed interest in an AMA so I'm working to arrange this too.

Here is the full AMA, and here is a summary of the (anonymised) questions people asked and Tryst's responses =

How did the site become so saturated with ads of people who obviously do not offer in person services, or are scammers?

Alex from SWOP behind bars Community Support Hotline kindly agreed to an interview here on Sex Worker Search blog.

As per the SWOP Behind Bars website =

The Community Support Hotline (CSL) is a centralized toll-free hotline that can be accessed by anyone in North America for assistance with safety planning, networking and accessing resources. We receive more than 200 calls a week seeking assistance with a wide variety of issues from crisis support around and assault or an arrest, to sex positive resources for medical and mental health resources to housing and transportation requests. All of our services and support are provided by other sex workers and survivors. You are NOT alone! Need help right now? Call the hotline and speak to a peer that understands!

1-877-776-2004

Can you please share what inspired the launch of the Community Support Hotline, and how its' goals align with SWOP Behind Bars’ mission to Create Community from the Inside Out?

The Community Support Hotline was born out of necessity—because sex workers kept telling us what they needed, and we believed them. During the height of the pandemic, we were getting flooded with messages from incarcerated sex workers and folks in crisis: people being evicted, outed, stalked, arrested, ghosted by outreach orgs, or stuck in exploitative situations with no one safe to call. Most mainstream hotlines either ignored sex workers, treated them like criminals, or tried to “rescue” them without consent.

So we created something different: a peer-led, harm-reduction-based hotline that listens without judgment and responds with real-world options. The Hotline is an extension of SWOP Behind Bars’ mission to “Create Community from the Inside Out” by centering those who are most often left out—especially sex workers who are incarcerated, in reentry, or navigating state systems.

What specific needs or crises faced by sex workers is the Hotline designed to address, and how do you tailor your responses differently than traditional hotlines?

We handle a wide range of issues: everything from someone needing help with a bad date or finding housing, to reporting violence from clients or law enforcement, to needing commissary funds, court support, or just someone to talk to who gets it. We’ve helped people get emergency contraception, leave abusive work situations, navigate anti-trafficking “rescue” raids, and even reconnect with lost family members.

What makes us different from traditional hotlines is that we don’t assume the caller’s goal is to exit sex work—we’re here to support people where they’re at. That means safety planning, resource referrals, and advocacy—without the saviorism. And we never call the cops.

How are your Hotline volunteers and staff trained to handle sensitive, high‑risk, or emergency situations, and what backgrounds or expertise do they bring?

Our Hotline team is made up of peer workers and allies with lived and professional experience in harm reduction, social work, crisis response, reentry support, and sex worker rights advocacy. Every volunteer goes through intensive training that covers trauma-informed care, consent culture, safety planning, anti-carceral frameworks, and how to support people navigating criminalization, domestic violence, or trafficking without defaulting to law enforcement.

We also roleplay difficult calls, have protocols for high-risk scenarios, and do a lot of debriefing and peer support behind the scenes. The work is emotional and nuanced—and we’re big believers in taking care of each other, too.

Can you share any success stories? Either specific if those involved consent to sharing, or in general terms what do Community Support Hotline's success stories look like?

Success doesn’t always look dramatic. Sometimes it’s just a text that says, “I made it home safe.” Or someone finally getting a bus ticket and a prepaid phone after being stuck in a bad situation. Or helping a person in prison get their birth certificate so they can apply for a commutation. Or even just a survivor saying, “You’re the first person who didn’t make me feel broken.”

When consent allows, we share anonymized wins with our supporters to show that mutual aid and peer-led support works. Every story reminds us why we do this.

I was reading your Prank Calls, and Trafficking Conspiracies blog post  and as a moderator on the sexworkers subreddit, I can empathise since I'm often the one who has to intervene when non sex workers post something on the subreddit that's more like an X Files screenplay than reality. Do you have any good techniques for encouraging callers to believe in the lived experience of actual sex workers rather than whatever assumptions, misconceptions, hype, click bait or fake news they've been misled by?

Oh, the X-Files of it all. We’ve heard it all—from the caller who was sure their neighbor was running a trafficking ring because of “too many Uber Eats deliveries,” to folks convinced that every OnlyFans creator must be a victim in disguise.

Our approach is to meet people where they are without validating their assumptions. We often say, “That’s a serious claim. Let’s talk about what trafficking actually looks like, and what sex workers say would help them stay safe.” Redirecting people toward lived experience, data, and survivor voices—without immediately shutting them down—goes a long way. And sometimes, a little humor helps too.

What can people reading this do to help? For example what volunteer opportunities do you have available? What are the pre-requisites for call handlers?

We’re always looking for volunteers—especially peer support folks with lived experience in sex work, incarceration, or harm reduction work. We also welcome allies who want to help with admin, fundraising, or social media moderation.

For Hotline volunteers, we ask for a strong grounding in nonjudgmental care, reliability, and the ability to manage emotionally complex situations. Training is provided, and we’re especially committed to mentoring folks from marginalized communities into leadership roles.

Anyone interested in volunteering can visit The Volunteer page on the SWOP Behind Bars Website and fill out an interest form.

Thank you to MelRose Michaels for agreeing to this interview about GPTease, an AI-powered chatbot platform made by sex workers, for sex workers.

GPTease offers an unrestricted environment for generating NSFW (Not Safe For Work) content, including scripts, captions, and responses to client queries. If you need help drafting social media posts, writing content for your blog or composing a bio page for your website, GPTease is an invaluable tool to have at your disposal.

Unlike mainstream AI tools that often impose content limitations, GPTease is designed to provide a more open and flexible experience for users in the adult industry.

Question 1: Based on the latest news, various AI models like ChatGPT and Grok are starting to be more permissive about sex work related queries.  What features does GPTease offer that help to set it apart from other AI models?

While it’s encouraging to see other platforms beginning to open the door to adult industry queries, GPTease was built with sex workers at the center—not as an afterthought. Having an explicit GPT tool at your disposal makes a world of difference. Unlike mainstream models that may be "permissive," GPTease is purpose-built for adult content creators.

Question 2:  People have commented on the ability for GPTease to customize the tone of content it outputs to match the voice of a specific person. As someone who uses LLMs a lot, I have found this is where others like Chat GPT tend to be ineffective.  This leads me to wonder how GPTease was trained.  Can you go into detail on the dataset used to trained GPTease like where it came from, the size of it, do you keep retraining?

Our features go far beyond surface-level acceptance. We support spicy creators with tools that actually understand the language, tone, and business strategy behind successful content. Our NSFW GPT goes way beyond writing explicit scripts, fan messages, and femdom ideas. It crafts high-converting copy and can organize content ideas by platform - we’ve designed every aspect to meet the real needs of this industry.

Question 3: Your T&C's stress your respect for users of GPTease in terms of how you collect and handle user's data. I'd love to dig deeper into how you prioritize ethical considerations and privacy whilst operating a platform intended for sex workers.  For example do queries get used as part of future training or what your policies are for inquiries into information about your users, their chats, etc?

While we can’t share specific training details (they’re proprietary and if we share the sauce we'll put ourselves out of business), what I can say is this: GPTease has my 13+ years as an independant adult creator, who's worked in nearly every vertical of online adult work, at it's center. That's why GPTease doesn’t just tolerate adult content—it actually elevates it. Every feature is informed by the real workflow, challenges, and creative genius of a sex worker who treats this like the business it is. We’re proud to be the only AI built by and for this community, with no compromises.

Respect is at the core of everything we do—and we don’t just say that because it sounds cute in a TOS. GPTease wasn't just built to be a sexy chat gpt. It was built specifically with adult creators in mind. As one myself, I know how vulnerable it can feel to share content, strategy, or persona-driven prompts with an AI.

We do not use your prompts for future model training. Your personalization & memories inside GPTease are compartmentalized to your account to provide you with better responses. If we were to change that to improve the product for everyone, our creators would have a way to opt-out. We feel strongly that it's our responsibility to protect our users as fiercely as we protect the integrity of the product. Ethics & consent aren't a line item for us—it’s the foundation.

Question 4: Some users have mentioned that they were only getting 20 prompts on the paid plans, but it looks like your tiers are now 500 for Pro and 3000 for Power. Based on discussions on reddit, it looks like some users are using GPTease to generate responses in real time while they are chatting with clients.  The Pro and Power plans seem like ideal solutions to keep up with the large volume of queries generated by this kind of usage.  Have you recently increased your prompts or are you looking at increasing what is offered on the Pro and Power plans? Any chance of an unlimited plan?

You caught us—we did recently increase prompt counts based on user feedback and growing demand. These new limits were built to better support high-volume usage, especially for creators using GPTease during live chats or DM management.We know adult creators aren’t just writing one tweet and calling it a day—you’re scripting, responding, teasing, promoting, and selling. So we made sure the tiers matched that reality.

As for an unlimited plan? Our adult creators aren't currently hitting prompt limits on paid plans, so the need for unlimited doesn't appear to be significant beyond the perception of being 'limitless' haha. Never say never of course, but we want to make sure anything we roll out continues to be sustainable and high-quality - because the last thing we’ll ever do is compromise performance to slap on an “unlimited” sticker.

Question 5: With the ongoing changes to age verification laws in the U.S., UK, and other parts of the world, how do you anticipate platforms like GPTease might need to respond? If laws begin to require users to verify real-world identity details to access adult and sex work related content, do you think GPTease will need to move toward age-gating with identity verification, or will you geoblock access in the UK or certain U.S. states? As someone who’s worked with the Free Speech Coalition and initiatives like DefendOnlinePrivacy.com, what’s your perspective on the best path forward for platforms navigating these regulatory pressures?

This is such an important question, and one that keeps coming up more and more as the regulatory landscape shifts—especially around age verification and online privacy.

A big thank you to Adrie Rose for agreeing to speak with me about the upcoming Kickstarter funded anthology, I Hate My Job: Thots on Labor, Sex Work, and Capitalism.

Adrie has brought together a diverse group of current and former sex workers including =

• • Empress Mirage
  • Juniper Fitzgerald
  • Olivia Snow
  • Oyster
  • Miss Mei
  • Emily

Hate My Job is set to be published by Working Girls Press (WGP), a cooperative publisher founded in 2023 by Molly B. Simmons and Emily Marie Passos Duffy. With a mission to publish, promote, and support the writing and art of sex workers, WGP approaches publishing through collaborative and collectivist principles.

Previous titles published by Working Girls Press are available here.

The estimated book launch date for I Hate My Job: Thots on Labor, Sex Work, and Capitalism, is November 2025.

What inspired you to create this anthology? Was there a specific moment or experience that sparked the idea?

A lot of things, I think. This is, first and foremost, the culmination of years in, around, and on the periphery of the industry. I've had a lot of feelings, both positive and negative, about my time, my clients, and my interactions with non-sex workers based on their perception of me, and those feelings have evolved a lot during the last decade or so. It's probably more honest to say there wasn't a single moment or experience that was the catalyst -- just experiences in general.

The through-line for me, especially after I began reading Carol Leigh's work more, has always been that this is just a job. Some people really love their jobs, and some people, like me, are ambivalent at best. It's never felt fair, to me, that sex workers are never given permission to be ambivalent, or even negative, about their work without someone from the outside bearing down on them with demands that they justify their participation in the industry through empowerment or something inane. No other job, no other industry demands this -- not military service, not policing, not health insurance. It's only us. This book was born, if you will, out of a desire to give sex workers a safe place to say all the things we're not supposed to say.

With countries like New Zealand and Belgium leading the way, do you predict that more countries will decriminalise sex work?

I really wish that I could say yes. I think more countries will dabble with the Nordic Model, or iterations of it. But I really do believe we're in for a global wave of repression that hasn't been seen in several generations. I think there are a lot of very angry men, especially white men, who are looking to exact retribution on women, queer people, and people of colour and I think sex work(ers), as always, will be on the front lines of that cultural and legal fight.

At the risk of being accused of giving in to doomerism, I wouldn't say that it's entirely hopeless. I do believe that there are a lot of people, even in powerful positions, who want to create a better world. And I believe they're doing everything possible to make that hope a reality. But, that's an incredibly difficult fight in a world where populism is such an attractive ideology. I think we're just doing a very small, but necessary, part to make the fight a little easier.

I recently read Chokepoint Capitalism and also Technofeudalism and I'm finding the subject of big tech's role in modern capitalism fascinating. What do you see as the implications of big tech in terms of our ability to use online platforms for profit as sex worker's?

I mentioned this in a Q&A with our publisher, Working Girls Press, but I didn't include the impact of technology as a specific theme in the book because I didn't think I would be able to edit that writing in an appropriate way. I spent a lot of years in school fully immersed in how technology companies and financial institutions have an undue impact on sex workers and it's very difficult for me to approach that topic from a non-academic standpoint. I'll do my best with this question though.

I think tech is irrevocably intertwined with the future of sex work. With the loss of Twitter as a viable platform for advertising, we're seeing losses in earning potential that I, personally, haven't seen since Back page was taken offline. As more social media platforms become increasingly hostile to anything "other," I think the consequences will only grow. After the passage of SESTA/FOSTA, platforms like AirBnB started quietly targeting people suspected of "non-desirable" behaviour through the use of proprietary algorithms that scrape a user's device history. Technology and sex work cannot be separated from each other, and it's in every sex worker's best interest to learn as much as they can about how platforms operate, down to the line items of their Terms of Service and arbitration policies.

What was the biggest challenge in putting this anthology together? Any moments where you thought, “I hate this (anthology compiler and editor) job” while working on it?

We're still in the process of writing at the time of this interview, so I imagine the best/worst is yet to come. I have to imagine that the hardest part will be deciding what to cut. We have an incredible group of contributors and I do worry about the boundary between thoughtful edits, and changing their voice(s). I've been at the mercy of editors who were more interested in word counts or changing my writing to better fit their plan, so I would hate to make another person feel that way. Overall, I'm just so incredibly excited about putting this anthology together, and grateful to our contributors for their faith in me and WGP.

What do you hope readers take away from this collection? Is it more about catharsis, public education, social change, or something else?

A little bit of everything, I think? This is certainly cathartic, for me at least. I've spent a lot of time arguing with strangers on the internet, and less time trying to ignore them. This anthology is everything I've ever wanted to say, some of what I've already said, and things I haven't considered saying yet. There's certainly an element of education here, but that wasn't my primary goal. This book is meant to be a conversation between sex workers, for sex workers. We absolutely want everyone to grab a copy, but with the understanding that this is not a book for someone who is still trying to rationalise support or understanding for sex workers. This is not a 101-level course, so to speak. It's probably more akin to a 401- or 501-level. Along with education comes change, ideally, so that's definitely baked in. And of course, this book is meant to function as a safe place for everyone that's ever felt they didn't belong to the community, because they can't say they love what they do.

I already pledged for the E Book duo but if someone else wants to pre-order I Hate My Job, can they do so via the Kickstarter or is there some other way to pre-order or get notified when it's published?

One of the reasons I love WGP is that the Kickstarter is the pre-order process, which feels a little more equitable, because backers can get the book for a little less than the retail cost. Now that the Kickstarter is closed, there is a waiting list where people can sign up to get an email when the book officially launches.-

I had an interesting chat the other day with Image Angel, a digital image protection company, about their invisible watermarking technology designed to protect sex workers from unauthorised copying and sharing of our content.

What is Image Angel?

Image Angel is a tool that websites install to protect digital content. It works by deterring clients from sharing content without permission because they can be identified and held accountable if they do.

How is this technology helpful for sex workers?

Image Angel helps sex workers by adding an invisible marker to their content that identifies clients who share images without permission. This traceable marker acts as a strong deterrent against unauthorized sharing, as clients know they can be held accountable, helping protect the creator’s work and maintain control.

Can anyone install it?

No, Image Angel is designed for content-sharing platforms, websites, or companies to install. They pay for the service to be integrated into their systems. This allows them to protect creators' content, comply with online safety regulations, and enhance the safety of their platforms.

Why can Image Angel only be installed at the platform level?

Embedding an invisible fingerprint automatically when content is downloaded or accessed by the client happens server-side. This ensures consistent protection for all content without requiring individual users to manually apply or manage it.

Who can see the client’s information in the image?

To the human eye, it’s invisible. If there’s been a leak, Image Angel can extract the platform data and pass on that information to the platform to trace. If the creator wants to pursue the issue, the platform and Image Angel then work together to find the best outcome or course of action to hold the individual accountable for the image misuse.

What kind of resolutions can come from opening a case?

When a case is opened, the content creator remains in full control and can choose resolutions such as removing the leaked content, identifying the source of the unauthorized sharing, pursuing legal action, or holding the offender accountable through platform penalties. These kinds of outcomes empower creators and platforms to regain control, hold offenders accountable, and prevent further misuse.

How is Image Angel's watermarking technology superior to using reverse image search tools like Google Lens, PimEyes, or TinEye in terms of proactively protecting creators' content and addressing unauthorized use?

Image Angel’s watermarking technology gives creators stronger protection than image search tools by tackling problems before they happen, not after.

An invisible fingerprint is added when content is viewed, creating a clear link back to the source as soon as the image is opened or downloaded. This means unauthorized use can be prevented right from the start, unlike reverse image searches, which only find content once it’s already been misused.

If Image Angel detects unauthorized use of a watermarked image, will the owner receive an alert?

While Image Angel doesn’t offer real-time alerts for unauthorized use, we do have a dedicated support system to assist creators should the worst happen. If misuse happens, our team can help trace the fingerprint back to its source, providing crucial evidence for addressing the issue.

What is the process for having the content removed?

Our goal is to make sure those who fall victim to this feel supported, protected, and back in control of their content as quickly as possible. Image Angel offers a clear process to support creators in having the content removed, with a focus on evidence collection, support, and bespoke survivor-led resolution.

Would the presence of the watermark be sufficient proof of ownership for a takedown request, or would creators need to provide additional evidence such as raw files or identity documents?

While the watermark establishes guardianship of the image (showing it originated from a specific source), takedown requests often require stronger evidence to confirm actual ownership or rights over the content. Image Angel’s invisible watermark can add credibility to claims by providing traceable, tamper-proof data showing the image’s origin and timeline. This could help corroborate and support cases of repeat image-based violence rather than serve as standalone proof of image ownership.

Does Image Angel comply with the C2PA (Coalition for Content Provenance and Authenticity) standard?

It's better! C2PA data is generally stripped from an asset when it’s sent via a website like OnlyFans or WhatsApp, so even with this standard, images can be easily taken and repurposed. The principles of Image Angel's technology—embedding invisible watermarks to establish guardianship—align closely with the goals of the C2PA, which are to ensure transparency, provenance, and authenticity of digital content but cannot be removed unlike C2PA. Because Image Angel’s fingerprint is within the image, not attached to it, it also remains if the content is screenshotted, unlike C2PA data.

Could Image Angel’s watermarking technology be adapted to function as a proof-of-authenticity tool for verifying that content is genuine and not a deepfake?

By adding invisible watermarks that include details like who created the content, when it was made, and where it came from, Image Angel can create a unique digital "fingerprint" for each image or video. This fingerprint makes it easier for platforms, users, and authorities to check if the content is real or has been altered, helping to spot fakes and confirm authenticity. However, in cases involving sex work, including too much identifying information could risk the creator’s anonymity, which is critical for their safety and privacy. This is why we choose to embed the client’s data to act as a deterrent against sharing.

What current, emerging, and future digital privacy concerns (e.g., deepfakes, catfishing, deposit scams, scrapers, etc.) should sex workers be aware of, and how can Image Angel's technology help protect our content?

Technology is advancing rapidly, and while new challenges like content theft and deepfakes emerge, innovative solutions are keeping pace. There will always be bad actors, but tools like Image Angel are helping to protect creators and shift behaviors toward a safer, more respectful online world.

Image Angel’s invisible watermarking acts as a powerful deterrent, making clients think twice before sharing content without permission because they know it can be traced back to them. This accountability helps shift behaviors over time, encouraging a culture of respect and consent. Combined with stronger online safety laws that hold platforms and offenders responsible, these changes can create safer online spaces where sex workers have more control, confidence, and security over their work.

Additionally, what other steps would you recommend we take to safeguard our digital assets effectively?

Choose your platforms wisely! It’s important to share content on platforms that prioritize privacy, have tools to block content scraping, and act quickly to remove stolen or misused material. Look for platforms with strong user protections, clear policies on unauthorized sharing, and systems like user verification to reduce scams and impersonation. Don’t be afraid to move to another platform if your current one isn’t providing the safety or support you need. Using multiple platforms can also help diversify your income, reach new audiences, and reduce reliance on any single service. By choosing wisely and staying flexible, you can better protect your content and have more control over where and how it’s shared.