As a follow up to my Sexworkopedia post, I decided to compile a Clientopedia based on the How to Find a Safe Provider guide on the Sexworkers subreddit.
I'll continue adding more subheadings here and hope to make this a useful resource for clients wanting to know how to properly approach a provider, how to avoid scams and what to do before, during and after a session.
A
Ad Posting History:
The record of a provider's advertisements across multiple websites, indicating their experience and reliability. I recommend searching for the contact number of a provider you're thinking of contacting using your search engine of choice. Duckduckgo is a good privacy oriented search engine. If you see a lot of search results for different ads posted regularly over a long time period, that is a good sign that they are genuine. If there's just one result, ie one ad on one directory and no other web presence at all, it is likely to be a scam ad using stolen pictures.
B
Booking Process:
Procedures outlined by providers on their personal websites regarding how clients can schedule appointments. Read carefully and follow to the letter.
C
Client Screening:
A safety measure where sex workers verify the identity of potential clients before meeting them, often through IDs, work verification, or references.
Contacting a provider:
Here's a suggested template for initial contact:
"Hi, my name is John Smith. I came across your profile and am interested in arranging a meeting. I'm available for a 2-hour incall session on Tuesday, May 7th, at 6 pm. My schedule is flexible, so alternative times can be considered. I've included my screening details in this message, as per your requirements (please refer to website for specifics). If further screening is necessary, please let me know. I eagerly anticipate the opportunity to meet you."
Remember, maintaining a professional and courteous demeanour enhances the likelihood of a prompt response and successful booking. If the provider doesn't respond initially, consider sending a polite follow-up message after a day or two. If there's still no reply, it's advisable to explore other options.
D
Dick Pics:
Don't send explicit photos or videos, including dick pics. Such content is not appreciated and can have legal implications. When providers request a selfie for screening purposes, stick to sending only a selfie.
Deposits:
It is normal and not uncommon to be asked for a deposit to secure a booking. When asked for a deposit, avoid paying more than 50% upfront. Typically, deposits range from 20% to 50%, and if the provider maintains an online presence, it's less likely to be a scam. Refrain from sending the full payment before meeting in person. Conducting thorough research on the provider beforehand is crucial, as deposits generally signify professionalism.
Donations:
Monetary compensation given by clients to providers for their time and services. Be wary of ads listing donations much lower than average for your location. Unusually low rates could indicate that a scammer is trying to lure you into engaging. Or this could indicate that some kind of coercion or exploitation is taking place ie trafficking.
E
Etiquette:
Guidelines and expectations regarding behaviour and conduct during appointments with providers.
Explicit ads:
Ads using fully nude pictures or pictures depicting sex acts are less common in countries where sex work is illegal. Providers at risk of being arrested tend to have far less explicit ads and websites.
Explicit Questions and Conversations:
Avoid inquiring about specific services or engaging in explicit conversation. Especially in countries where sex work is illegal. Remember, you're compensating for time, and such inquiries can make providers uncomfortable, leading to being blocked or blacklisted.
F
Face Pics:
If a provider's face is blurred, refrain from requesting a clear face picture. Many providers display their faces openly, so if seeing the face is crucial for booking, opt for someone who already provides unblurred photos.
G
Girfriend Experience:
It means a type of session where the emphasis is on providing a romantic, intimate encounter. Sensual. As opposed to pornstar experience. The term does not imply that sex will be without a condom.
H
Haggling:
Refrain from bargaining over donations, as it is highly disrespectful. If the donation is beyond your budget, seek out providers within your price range. Escorts are available across a wide range of prices to accommodate different budgets.
L
Longevity of web presence:
Brand new ads that were recently created within the last week are much less likely to be genuine than ads that have been around for months or years.
One or two word texts:
Do NOT text "hi" or "u avail?" or "hey baby" as your 1st message.
P
Personal Questions:
Do not ask the provider personal questions (ex: do you have kids, are you married, in school, etc). If they bring that information up themselves, then fine.
Phonecalls:
Many providers do not accept phone calls from new clients - they probably will state that on their ads if that's their policy but text or email is the recommended contact method.
Provider:
An individual offering companionship and other services in exchange for compensation.
Punctuality:
Show up to the date on time. Or at least let us know if you're running late by contacting us before the agreed time and letting us know what time to expect you.
R
Read the ad:
Prior to reaching out to a provider, take the time to thoroughly review their advertisement and website. Asking questions that are clearly addressed in their ad or website is likely to result in being ignored or blocked.
Research:
You will need to take some time to do some research and not go in blindly - no research is the best way to get into bad situations. Research will only take you around 20 minutes.
Reverse image search:
You can use google images or tineye to search for the ad pictures to make sure they are unique and not stock photos or stolen from a known model or actress.
Reviews:
Feedback and evaluations from clients about their experiences with providers, often found online.
S
Safe Sex:
If a provider agrees to have sex with you without a condom, that means they will probably agree to have sex without a condom with any client who asks. The clients who ask for this aren't just asking one provider one time, they're making a habit of it and the providers who say yes to the are also making a habit of it, with other clients who make a habit of it. ie a perfect storm of the most high risk activity possible in terms of likelihood of transmission of STIs. Even if you're taking PREP, there are other things you can catch other than HIV. Do you really want to end up with antibiotic resistant gonorrhoea?
Same Day Appointments:
Schedule your appointment well in advance whenever possible. While some providers may accommodate same-day bookings, many require several hours' notice. It's essential to understand that we have busy lives and may not always be available at a moment's notice, especially for new clients.
Screening:
It's standard procedure for sex workers to screen their clients, primarily for their own safety, which also ensures the safety of the clients themselves. Screening ensures that sex workers aren't meeting strangers blindly from the internet without any knowledge of their appearance or identity. Importantly, screening doesn't imply that clients are suspected of being scammers or law enforcement officers. In fact, undercover law enforcement typically avoid screening processes as they prefer quick and uncomplicated arrests. Once a client's safety is confirmed through screening, established providers are typically uninterested in retaining specific personal information. Blackmail or similar activities are counterproductive for reputable providers, as their focus is on building a client base through trust and reliability. Therefore, clients may need to provide identification, work verification, or references to previous encounters with other sex workers when encountering a provider who screens.
If screening is required by the provider, refrain from requesting to bypass it. Instead, consider seeking out individuals who either don't require screening or have a less rigorous screening process.
Showers:
Some providers require you to shower on arrival - please do not argue and just take a quick shower if required.
Social Media Presence:
The activity and engagement of providers on platforms like Twitter, Instagram, or Onlyfans, can provide and insight into their authenticity. Do not contact what appears to be a provider if one social media account is the only thing they have on the internet as a sex worker. You will see a lot of accounts on twitter that have a profile picture of a beautiful woman with no links or contact details in their bio. There's are almost 100% fake accounts using stolen pictures to run various scams.
T
Tip:
An optional additional payment or gift given to providers, often as a gesture of appreciation or to build rapport. Around 10 or 20% will be greatly appreciated but is not expected. Tips are more common in USA and countries that have more of a tipping culture.
Timewasters:
Don't contact multiple providers at the same time. Especially if you have no intention of meeting. It's rude and wastes our time.
Twitter:
A genuine sex worker twitter account will always have a link and/or contact details in their bio. Often the link will be a link aggregator such as linktree and clicking through to that page you will find a whole list of links to their website, other social media, email, content sales etc. If there is no link and no contact details other than twitter messages, it's almost certainly a scammer using stolen pictures.
V
Verification pictures:
Don't request "verification" pictures from the provider, as it's seen as impolite and a significant waste of time. If you find yourself needing verification pictures, it suggests you haven't conducted thorough research or haven't yet found a reputable provider. Additional pictures beyond those in advertisements are typically available on social media, personal websites, or content sales accounts. If these options are unavailable, consider offering to compensate for additional pictures rather than expecting them for free.
Verification sites:
Avoid inputting your card details into "verification sites." Providers conduct screening directly, and legitimate verification does not require payment. Entering card information into such sites is a scam.
W
Websites:
If a provider owns their own personal website containing information about their services, rates, and booking procedures, that is the best possible indicator that they are genuine, experienced, professional and invested in their reputation. Search for a specific provider's name here on Sex Worker Search or search for a word or two describing the type of provider you're looking for plus the name of your location. eg "Los Angeles blonde escort" or "London Professional Submissive" or "New York Mistress" or "Tokyo petite" and what you see in search results will all be links to the personal sites of independent providers.