Image courtesy of Blazoner.
Cash is king in the sex work business, especially for in person providers.
An envelope with my work name written on it containing my exact fee handed to me at the beginning of the session without me having to ask, is always very welcome.
But there are times when I'd like to be able to receive funds electronically and doing so can be a bit of a mine-field.
I hope the following ideas can be of use in enabling sex workers to engage in e-commerce in a way that's safe and profitable.
Two good reasons why a sex worker may choose to charge via electronic payments rather than cash are for deposits and for content sales.
Deposits
The idea of a deposit is to minimise the risk of setting up an appointment with a prospective client and then having them not show up.
The timewaster is the bane of every sex worker's existence. They will pretend they want to meet and even go so far as agreeing to a day, time and location, just to trick you into entertaining them for free via calls, txt, whatsapp messages, exchanging pictures or whatever variety of pointless communication they can extract from you without paying. They have zero intention of meeting and paying.
Asking for a deposit very early on when contacted by a new client is a highly effective antidote to timewasters.
The problem is, some genuine clients will also look elsewhere rather than pay the deposit.
They might be concerned that you will keep the deposit and ghost them.
This is a legitimate concern. Deposit scams are very common. Especially on directories where the advertised sex worker has just one unverified ad and that's their entire web presence.
A sex worker who has their own website, eg every independent provider indexed in search results here on Sex Worker Search, is very unlikely to be a deposit scammer.
Another possible deterrent to paying deposits is the clients need for discretion. Many clients are married or have a partner and do not want anything to appear on their bank statement that could raise suspicion.
Whether or not to charge deposits is up to the individual. It's a controversial topic. As you can see from the history of the use of the word "Deposit" in titles of posts on the sexworker subreddit.
Selling Content
There is massive demand for sexually explicit content produced by independent sex workers.
Porn is a multi billion dollar industry. Onlyfans alone had revenue worth $2.5 billion USD in 2022.
The combined revenue of the top 10 content sales sites including the likes of ManyVids, Patreon, Clips4Sale, FanCentro, AVN Stars and JustForFans is in the tens of billions.
And yet, for all those tens of billions of dollars, the industry is remarkably difficult to actually make any money in for individual, independent performers.
Each of the sites listed above take commissions of between 20% and 60% of sales.
OnlyFans On their terms it says they take a commission of 20%.
ManyVids: I couldn't find anything on the Manyvids website saying how much their commission is. Googling it didn't bring up an exact figure either as far as I could see. I guess it's a secret? Chat GPT says it's between 20 and 40%
Clips4Sale: Says you can earn 60% of total clip sales and 80% of your customer tips on their Start Earning page.
FanCentro: takes 25%. This information is easy to find on their FAQ.
JustForFans: takes a 30% commission according to this.
AdmireMe.VIP: according to their FAQ they take 20%
IsMyGirl: It says here they take 20%
JustForFans: According to this site they take 20%. I couldn't find this information on the Justforfans site.
Fancentro: This article says they take 20%. Their website doesn't seem to say.
Those commissions listed above are exorbitant. Especially considering how little they actually do for content creators. Most of them don't disclose their commission on their own site as if they are ashamed of how badly they're ripping off sex workers.
None of the sites above generate much, if any, traffic to the accounts of individual content creators. The only way to actually sell anything on any of these platforms is if you can attract paying customers by yourself from somewhere off platform. eg if you already have a massive social media following.
How to Get Paid
Ideally, it would be great if clients could simply pay deposits and our fees for content sales directly to each independent provider without any third party taking a commission.
Ways to receive payments online include credit card payment portals on our own personal websites, bank transfers, cryptocurrency, gift cards and wishlist sites.
Credit Card Payment Portal
Being able to simply take Visa and Mastercard payments directly on our own personal websites would be perfect.
Actually finding a payment portal provider who is willing to work with in person providers, is seemingly impossible.
If you are a content creator who does not meet clients in person, you might be able to get one of the payment providers to work with you but it will probably be one that specialises in "high risk" industries. Anything to do with porn or sex work is considered to be high risk for chargebacks. ie someone will pay for a video clip, watch it and then report it as an unauthorised transaction to their bank and get a refund.
This is the reason given why payment providers charge much higher fees and commissions to work with anyone in our industry.
For anything non porn related, the average total payment processing fees for Visa and Mastercard transactions typically range from around 1.5% to 3.5% of the transaction amount.
For anything that is porn related the fees are more likely to be between 5% to 15% or more of the transaction amount.
Someone on reddit recommended authorize.net. I've just sent them a message on twitter and I'll update here if they say they are sex work friendly.
Bank Transfers
Another payment method that should be ideal is simply logging into your internet banking as a client and sending money to a sex worker.
One problem is, if it's a personal account, the client is likely to need your real name.
Also, if your bank gets the idea that you're a sex worker, even if you work in a country where sex work is perfectly legal, they can close your account.
I'm based in UK so sex work is legal here. I'm registered as a sole trader. I pay tax. I have a business bank account in my work name with Tide. Even then it would only take one client to ignore my instructions and put something sex work related in the description like "porn video clip" and I could have my account closed.
Cryptocurrency
Receiving payments via cryptocurrency like Bitcoin has the advantage of anonymity. You don't need to give your client your real name. Just a crypto address which is a long string of alphanumeric characters.
The main drawback is that very few clients have a crypto wallet and setting one up and using it is usually viewed as complicated beyond the ability of most clients to achieve.
It's not really that difficult.
Here are step by step instructions for the wallet and exchange I use. It's called OkX.
Visit the OKX Website: Open your web browser and navigate to the official OKX website.
Click on "Sign Up": On the homepage, locate and click on the "Sign Up" button. This will typically be located in the top-right corner of the page.
Fill Out the Registration Form: You'll be directed to the registration page where you'll need to fill out the registration form. Provide the required information, including your email address, password, and any other details requested by OKX.
Verify Email: After filling out the registration form, OKX will send a verification email to the email address you provided during registration. Check your email inbox for this verification email and click on the verification link to verify your email address.
Complete Verification Process: Depending on OKX's requirements, you may need to complete additional verification steps to fully verify your account. This may include providing identity verification documents such as a passport or driver's license and proof of address.
Log In to Your Account: Once your account is verified, log in to your OKX account using the email address and password you provided during registration.
Navigate to Wallet: After logging in, navigate to the wallet section of your OKX account. This is where you can manage your cryptocurrencies and access your OKX wallet.
Set Up Wallet: If you haven't already set up a wallet, you'll be prompted to do so. Follow the on-screen instructions to set up your OKX wallet. This typically involves generating a wallet address for each cryptocurrency supported by OKX.
Secure Your Account: It's important to take steps to secure your OKX account and wallet. This may include enabling two-factor authentication (2FA), setting up strong passwords, and following best practices for online security.
Deposit Funds: Once your wallet is set up, you can deposit funds into your OKX account to start trading. Navigate to the deposit section of your account and follow the instructions to deposit funds via bank transfer, credit/debit card, or cryptocurrency transfer from another wallet.
Start Trading: With funds deposited into your OKX account, you can start trading cryptocurrencies on the OKX exchange. Navigate to the trading section of your account to buy, sell, or trade cryptocurrencies.
Keep Your Information Updated: Make sure to keep your account information up to date, including your contact information and security settings, to ensure the security of your OKX account and wallet.
Their customer service is very good. I needed help to get set up. Again to buy Bitcoin to pay for ads. and again to sell Bitcoin clients sent me and transfer the fiat currency into my bank account. Each time I went on the Okx live chat and they walked me through the process.
Using crypto is a lot more challenging than using a credit card or sending a bank transfer but it is anonymous and you're unlikely to face any discrimination around being a sex worker.
Gift Cards
I often get clients to send me a gift card as a deposit if they don't want to do a bank transfer and have my work name on their bank statement and they feel that crypto is too complicated. John Lewis is a good one here in London, UK, as it can be used for anything in the department store or at any Waitrose supermarket. Selfridges is ok. They're a bit slow. Often takes until the next business day to come through. Amazon often doesn't come through. Clients often find their payments to Amazon for gift cards don't work. Either blocked by Amazon or by their bank.
Paxum and CCbill
I've seen these two recommended on a few different sites for example here and here. I will contact both and update this blog post when I hear back.
Venmo
Venmo isn't available here in the UK but I understand some sex workers use it in USA. Venmo is anti sex work and will blacklist you if they find out you're a sex worker.
Cashapp
Cashapp is available in USA and UK but last year they suddenly decided to limit all UK users to £100 worth of transactions per month rendering it almost completely useless here. Like Venmo, they're anti sex work and will ban you if they find out you're a sex worker.
Paypal
Don't ever use Paypal. They are notorious for being extremely anti-sex work. If they get any idea you're a sex worker, they will ban you and steal any money left in your account. If anyone asks them for a refund, they will always side with the buyer over the seller no matter what so they are the worst for chargebacks.
Wishlists
WishTender and Throne are platforms where clients can purchase gifts listed on the wishlists of sex workers.
Wishtender is supposed to allow clients to send gifts to sex workers and then sex workers can have the gifts sent to their address or they can withdraw the value to their bank account via Stripe.
Unfortunately Stripe dumped Wishtender in February and they still haven't managed to get their payment system working again. Initially they said they had another payment processor and it would be all up and running again in a few weeks but that was months ago and they still can't process payouts.
Throne states that they are privacy oriented and you can list items on your wishlist from any online store. It looks like you can withdraw funds if you have a cash balance on Throne.
Throne also uses Stripe but for now their payment system still seems to work.
SpankPay
This seemed like a really promising idea. It was intended to be an adult-industry-friendly payment solution that would enable adult entertainers and merchants to accept cryptocurrency for their services Unfortunately they had to shut down their operation last year when they lost their payment processor.
Petition to Ensure Sex Workers are Not Excluded From Banking Services in UK
I did my best to promote this petition at the time. I posted about it on the Sexworkers and Sexworkersonly subreddits where I'm a moderator. I posted on twitter and messaged all my contacts asking them to share tweets linking to the petition. I broadcast it to my whatsapp contacts and shared it as my whatsapp status and asked others to do the same. 1 month before the petition ended it didn't look like we would get the requisite 10,000 signatures needed to get a response from the UK government. Then thanks to a final push on reddit, we did reach to 10k signatures. We got the government to respond. All they had to say was "sex work is not illegal in UK so banks cannot discriminate against sex workers and close their accounts for no other reason than the legal industry in which they are employed. The government completely failed to make a statement to this effect.
Their response doesn't even mention the word 'Sex Worker' but does make a point of bringing up sex trafficking and modern slavery. Lists a few wishy washy platitudes about policies that already exist in general terms, for everyone, presumably including sex workers but without mentioning us specifically despite that being the entire point of the petition. Disappointed.
Other Campaigns Against Financial Discrimination
The Free Speech Coalition (FSC) does a lot of excellent work campaigning, mostly in USA, but also internationally, for sex worker rights including our right to use financial services.
More Information
Sex Worker Helpful has an article on payment options. It's from 2018 so double check what's there against more up to date sources but it's a great article.
I recommend reading this article shared on the National Ugly Mugs website about the impacts of financial discrimination against sex workers.
As a follow up to my Sexworkopedia post, I decided to compile a Clientopedia based on the How to Find a Safe Provider guide on the Sexworkers subreddit.
I'll continue adding more subheadings here and hope to make this a useful resource for clients wanting to know how to properly approach a provider, how to avoid scams and what to do before, during and after a session.
A
Ad Posting History:
The record of a provider's advertisements across multiple websites, indicating their experience and reliability. I recommend searching for the contact number of a provider you're thinking of contacting using your search engine of choice. Duckduckgo is a good privacy oriented search engine. If you see a lot of search results for different ads posted regularly over a long time period, that is a good sign that they are genuine. If there's just one result, ie one ad on one directory and no other web presence at all, it is likely to be a scam ad using stolen pictures.
B
Booking Process:
Procedures outlined by providers on their personal websites regarding how clients can schedule appointments. Read carefully and follow to the letter.
C
Client Screening:
A safety measure where sex workers verify the identity of potential clients before meeting them, often through IDs, work verification, or references.
Contacting a provider:
Here's a suggested template for initial contact:
"Hi, my name is John Smith. I came across your profile and am interested in arranging a meeting. I'm available for a 2-hour incall session on Tuesday, May 7th, at 6 pm. My schedule is flexible, so alternative times can be considered. I've included my screening details in this message, as per your requirements (please refer to website for specifics). If further screening is necessary, please let me know. I eagerly anticipate the opportunity to meet you."
Remember, maintaining a professional and courteous demeanour enhances the likelihood of a prompt response and successful booking. If the provider doesn't respond initially, consider sending a polite follow-up message after a day or two. If there's still no reply, it's advisable to explore other options.
D
Dick Pics:
Don't send explicit photos or videos, including dick pics. Such content is not appreciated and can have legal implications. When providers request a selfie for screening purposes, stick to sending only a selfie.
Deposits:
It is normal and not uncommon to be asked for a deposit to secure a booking. When asked for a deposit, avoid paying more than 50% upfront. Typically, deposits range from 20% to 50%, and if the provider maintains an online presence, it's less likely to be a scam. Refrain from sending the full payment before meeting in person. Conducting thorough research on the provider beforehand is crucial, as deposits generally signify professionalism.
Donations:
Monetary compensation given by clients to providers for their time and services. Be wary of ads listing donations much lower than average for your location. Unusually low rates could indicate that a scammer is trying to lure you into engaging. Or this could indicate that some kind of coercion or exploitation is taking place ie trafficking.
E
Etiquette:
Guidelines and expectations regarding behaviour and conduct during appointments with providers.
Explicit ads:
Ads using fully nude pictures or pictures depicting sex acts are less common in countries where sex work is illegal. Providers at risk of being arrested tend to have far less explicit ads and websites.
Explicit Questions and Conversations:
Avoid inquiring about specific services or engaging in explicit conversation. Especially in countries where sex work is illegal. Remember, you're compensating for time, and such inquiries can make providers uncomfortable, leading to being blocked or blacklisted.
F
Face Pics:
If a provider's face is blurred, refrain from requesting a clear face picture. Many providers display their faces openly, so if seeing the face is crucial for booking, opt for someone who already provides unblurred photos.
G
Girfriend Experience:
It means a type of session where the emphasis is on providing a romantic, intimate encounter. Sensual. As opposed to pornstar experience. The term does not imply that sex will be without a condom.
H
Haggling:
Refrain from bargaining over donations, as it is highly disrespectful. If the donation is beyond your budget, seek out providers within your price range. Escorts are available across a wide range of prices to accommodate different budgets.
L
Longevity of web presence:
Brand new ads that were recently created within the last week are much less likely to be genuine than ads that have been around for months or years.
One or two word texts:
Do NOT text "hi" or "u avail?" or "hey baby" as your 1st message.
P
Personal Questions:
Do not ask the provider personal questions (ex: do you have kids, are you married, in school, etc). If they bring that information up themselves, then fine.
Phonecalls:
Many providers do not accept phone calls from new clients - they probably will state that on their ads if that's their policy but text or email is the recommended contact method.
Provider:
An individual offering companionship and other services in exchange for compensation.
Punctuality:
Show up to the date on time. Or at least let us know if you're running late by contacting us before the agreed time and letting us know what time to expect you.
R
Read the ad:
Prior to reaching out to a provider, take the time to thoroughly review their advertisement and website. Asking questions that are clearly addressed in their ad or website is likely to result in being ignored or blocked.
Research:
You will need to take some time to do some research and not go in blindly - no research is the best way to get into bad situations. Research will only take you around 20 minutes.
Reverse image search:
You can use google images or tineye to search for the ad pictures to make sure they are unique and not stock photos or stolen from a known model or actress.
Reviews:
Feedback and evaluations from clients about their experiences with providers, often found online.
S
Safe Sex:
If a provider agrees to have sex with you without a condom, that means they will probably agree to have sex without a condom with any client who asks. The clients who ask for this aren't just asking one provider one time, they're making a habit of it and the providers who say yes to the are also making a habit of it, with other clients who make a habit of it. ie a perfect storm of the most high risk activity possible in terms of likelihood of transmission of STIs. Even if you're taking PREP, there are other things you can catch other than HIV. Do you really want to end up with antibiotic resistant gonorrhoea?
Same Day Appointments:
Schedule your appointment well in advance whenever possible. While some providers may accommodate same-day bookings, many require several hours' notice. It's essential to understand that we have busy lives and may not always be available at a moment's notice, especially for new clients.
Screening:
It's standard procedure for sex workers to screen their clients, primarily for their own safety, which also ensures the safety of the clients themselves. Screening ensures that sex workers aren't meeting strangers blindly from the internet without any knowledge of their appearance or identity. Importantly, screening doesn't imply that clients are suspected of being scammers or law enforcement officers. In fact, undercover law enforcement typically avoid screening processes as they prefer quick and uncomplicated arrests. Once a client's safety is confirmed through screening, established providers are typically uninterested in retaining specific personal information. Blackmail or similar activities are counterproductive for reputable providers, as their focus is on building a client base through trust and reliability. Therefore, clients may need to provide identification, work verification, or references to previous encounters with other sex workers when encountering a provider who screens.
If screening is required by the provider, refrain from requesting to bypass it. Instead, consider seeking out individuals who either don't require screening or have a less rigorous screening process.
Showers:
Some providers require you to shower on arrival - please do not argue and just take a quick shower if required.
Social Media Presence:
The activity and engagement of providers on platforms like Twitter, Instagram, or Onlyfans, can provide and insight into their authenticity. Do not contact what appears to be a provider if one social media account is the only thing they have on the internet as a sex worker. You will see a lot of accounts on twitter that have a profile picture of a beautiful woman with no links or contact details in their bio. There's are almost 100% fake accounts using stolen pictures to run various scams.
T
Tip:
An optional additional payment or gift given to providers, often as a gesture of appreciation or to build rapport. Around 10 or 20% will be greatly appreciated but is not expected. Tips are more common in USA and countries that have more of a tipping culture.
Timewasters:
Don't contact multiple providers at the same time. Especially if you have no intention of meeting. It's rude and wastes our time.
Twitter:
A genuine sex worker twitter account will always have a link and/or contact details in their bio. Often the link will be a link aggregator such as linktree and clicking through to that page you will find a whole list of links to their website, other social media, email, content sales etc. If there is no link and no contact details other than twitter messages, it's almost certainly a scammer using stolen pictures.
V
Verification pictures:
Don't request "verification" pictures from the provider, as it's seen as impolite and a significant waste of time. If you find yourself needing verification pictures, it suggests you haven't conducted thorough research or haven't yet found a reputable provider. Additional pictures beyond those in advertisements are typically available on social media, personal websites, or content sales accounts. If these options are unavailable, consider offering to compensate for additional pictures rather than expecting them for free.
Verification sites:
Avoid inputting your card details into "verification sites." Providers conduct screening directly, and legitimate verification does not require payment. Entering card information into such sites is a scam.
W
Websites:
If a provider owns their own personal website containing information about their services, rates, and booking procedures, that is the best possible indicator that they are genuine, experienced, professional and invested in their reputation. Search for a specific provider's name here on Sex Worker Search or search for a word or two describing the type of provider you're looking for plus the name of your location. eg "Los Angeles blonde escort" or "London Professional Submissive" or "New York Mistress" or "Tokyo petite" and what you see in search results will all be links to the personal sites of independent providers.